The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
