Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
