I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
