It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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