dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
