I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize