Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Text me some of your sweat
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
