Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
