Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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