Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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