Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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