I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
