the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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