I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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