I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
