Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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