My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
