I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
this will be a night to untag.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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