suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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