I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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