That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
