at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
