the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
