my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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