just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
