hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
