also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
