if you like me you must not know who I am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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