it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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