k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
