even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
