My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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