I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
