when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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