think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think my fart just growled at me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize