So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
