i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
