The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize