What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think i have herpe
just one?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
