I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
