He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize