i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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