Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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