I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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