once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
