Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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