i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize