Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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