Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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