You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
