I didn't shave. On purpose
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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