She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize