Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They took my balls.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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