there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
