and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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