HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
