I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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