Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
