On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
