If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
