if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
