no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
