Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
