belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why didn't you poke me back
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize